so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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