Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
