So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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