smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
our cab driver is having phone sex.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
