so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
