they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
