my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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