STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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