I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
