i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
