she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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