We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
