i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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