I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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