Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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