Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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