Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
