her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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