i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize