He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he fucked my hip out of place.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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