Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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