K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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