Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
