his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
