The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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