I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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