i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
