I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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