No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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