we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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