I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
