Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
