fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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