So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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