Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
