Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If I die, sorry about rent.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
