She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This baby is an asshole
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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