i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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