So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I love you.
Bad choice
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
