Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
