I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
