woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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