i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
