I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
