I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
