just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
