My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
