she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
