I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
