she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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