Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize