was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
