Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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