i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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