With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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