That's when you crack a 10am beer
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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