she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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