Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
